You Make it Look So Easy

Smile, You've Won - Lydia. This song for you all the time, every time.

Between the two of us, you seem to have caught on faster. Or rather, allowed yourself to learn the ropes without getting your hands burnt. I don't think I'll ever be where you are, regardless of the toil I may subject myself to (or not. I'm not a big fan of toil). So I'm just going to stay where I am and watch you.

I'd ask you to teach me, but I think I can't bring myself to open any more doors. They all seem so heavy, and nowadays, I can hear my muscles grumble. They make noises like old men that smell like musk and tobacco, with sides of their mouths pulled upwards into a sneer. It's not a nice sound, because it makes you stop whatever you're doing and feel quite small.

Anyway, keep it all to yourself. Be the most selfish with it, because you worked so hard to get where you are. Press it against your chest, and cross your arms tightly over it where ever you go. Sleep with one eye open, jaws slackened and poised to bite a wandering hand. Because there will be attempts to pry your fingers clean of what you have, but you must let them know your fists are made of hurt and pain and awful things that will explode from within.

What you have is so, so good. That's why I'm rooting for you. Even though I don't say it and make you do all my housework in exchange for cigarettes you don't even like. I want your team to win.