UgghhHhhHhHHHHHHhhhh

FUCK YEAH CHARM BRACELETSSSSSSSSSS

Title of this post is how I've been communicating to anyone who bothered to attempt conversation with me (i.e Mom and Rabani), along with a filtered list of monosyllables and the occasional caveman grunt or two.

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1) School's been out for slightly more than a week now. It's still fresh, so kids are still deliriously prancing around in the new freedom, and everybody's scraping whatever form of the holiday there is to throw in the air and catch in their hair.

I'm giving the withdrawal symptoms about two more weeks to kick in, where Twitter will be filled with more or less the same mopey-sounding updates about how "there's nothing to do" and "how i need a job".

I'm antsy already, and it shot to great, great heights yesterday when my recently temperamental body clock woke me up at 10 am.

10 FUCKING AM.

All my life, I've managed to have my eyes fly open before 8 am. Out of a numbing fear my mom has conditioned the entire household to have. A millisecond later and life as you know it will be abruptly vacuumed into an epic black hole and what you will have left (if any) will be so soul-less you might as well steer yourself into the nearest six-foot-under.

Well, actually, you'll be subjected to an entire day of chores and the predictable Mother-ness (Nag, Nag, Repeat). But, hey, same thing, you know?

So waking up at 10 am where I come from (you know, cause I live across the ocean like that~~~) is as taboo as not folding your burger wrappers into neat squares after eating. And I felt a dire need to compensate by amping up the productivity.

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2) Ironed. Like, Holly Housewife-ironed. Like, WOOO UN-CREASE-IFY TIME ironed.

Well, ok, about three dresses in, I got distracted and started playing with Mom's beautiful wooden hangers that are as old as I am. I had my ribbon rolls (like rick rolled heheehheheheh OK NO) nearby.

LIKE THEY WERE GOING TO PROM.

Then Mom came home, took one look at them and had this "IS THIS WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE?" look that I've grown rather accustomed to and hence regard with much oblivion.

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3) Then I made bows.

They were supposed to go on the blazer somehow but I couldn't find a way of sewing them on without tempting people to ask if it was a Secondary One Home Econs project.

MINUS ONE HOUSEWIFE POINT

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3) And weaved the string from my some old drawstring pants through a beaten up necklace.

Which you could scowl at and interpret as a majestic waste of time, since I could get the exact same thing sans painstaking manual labour for a meager amount of money ($3, I think).

But we're all too familiar with the Kids These Days labels. How we didn't see the Great Depression and how we probably weren't even swimming in our Dad's balls (YES YOUR DAD'S BALLS. I hear all your high pitched screams, visual readers) while the Japanese rat-a-tat-tat-ed down the entire nation. We basically have it easy, our grandmas say (over and OVER again).

So this is me not having it easy. AND MY GOODNESS. I FEEL LIKE I'VE ACHIEVED A CHANEL 2.55 EPIPHANY, I AM NEVER TAKING CHAINLINK FOR GRANTED AGAIN.

Multi-purpose, bodoh. :3

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4) Iskandar bought a Baggu a few days ago.

For reasons I infinitely struggle to find, it cost him $14 and the entire evening trying to pull all kinds of justifications from himself.

"It's nice, right? Yes. It's nice. The grey's nice, right? Yes. It's nice. IT'S NICE."

I, on the other hand, bought this bag a few days ago:

It's the exact same structure and also mirrors the SINGLE functionality of the Baggu. And since the sole purpose of posting this is to spite Iskandar, I would like to emphasize (meaning, put in bold fuchsia text) the fact that my pasar malam find cost $11 LESS than his Bauhaus-approved hand candy and OH YA DID I MENTION THE BAD ASS PRINT??????????????????????

IFFAH - 1, ISKANDAR - 0

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5) Found Mom's old Sonia Rykiel collar pin thingum while retrieving my make-up from Mom's toilet. She is quite the serial lipstick thief.

It's pretty much blonde, amazing exterior with a non-existent clockwork, but deception is so forgiving when you're this pretty.

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6) The weekends have me surprisingly stoked, largely because I won't have to feel any nagging obligations to be particularly cautious about my vocabulary choice and general mannerisms since I WON'T BE AT HOME YAY JOY. Instead, I'll be with these slick swingers:

a) ZAKI "ARMY" MUSA

b) TAN JING "ADM BLACK HOLE" LIANG & LINETTE "FORM SPRING MOTHER FAIL" CHEONG

Hot damn, life is good.

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Well, ok. I have to go patronize Nigel with default sentences circling around the same thing ("Yes the world does revolve around you."), so here's Benjamin's amazing Raoul shoes in a colour that is breathtakingly baffling (is it robin blue? Azure? Teal? Tiffany & Co.?) to say bye bye.

AU RE[SER]VOIR.